The Boys

Mitch informed me that Charlie sneaked an extra candy, when I asked Charlie why he said "well...it's complicated..."

Todd was out of town all weekend so I took the kids to Jump-n-Party for something fun to pass the time. We went to wash hands and when a lady in the restroom asked me about all my kiddos, Charlie informed this perfect stranger that "her can't have any more babies though, her doctor removed her ooterus."

Charlie was soaping up in the shower and when I helped him wash his bottom he said "wow, that was awkward."

Dawson and Charlie were talking to each other about kisses and how "gross they are" "bleck!" and "why do people kiss us?!" And I said "hey! Mommy kisses you all the time and you like it!" Dawson said "yeah, we like you're kisses but that's it, you're different." Mitchy removed his thumb and piped up and said "you're allowed to kiss us because you're from a different dimension."

Charlie said "I've been wanting to tell you something my whole life. Me and Mitchy are actually spies."

Mitch had a song stuck in his head the other day and we were all the lucky recipients of his repetitive singing. Dawson finally had enough and said annoyed "Mitchy's been singing that song so many times that I feel like I'm getting hit on the head with a crow bar every time he says it!"

The cold the kids got the week of my surgery really lingered, especially for poor Charlie, who always gets hit especially hard in the lungs. After a bout of coughing he grabbed his lower abdomen and said

"Mom, my muscles are sore when I cough, down by where you had your breast-es removed." I think he got his girl parts confused, but so cute. Thank the Lord I didn't have to have those removed too!

The kids were snuggling in bed with me on Saturday morning and Charlie wrapped his arms around me and asked sweetly "Mommy, why did you have to take your baby holder out?" Baby holder...I think that put a new crack in my heart. 

Dawson asked me if I'd still love him if he talked and looked weird. I told him I absolutely would, and that he's part of my heart so I can't help but love him. He said "I better not be just part of your heart, I'm your WHOLE heart."

Mitchy told me after Pre-K that "Ashton's mommy still has a big belly, she hasn't laid her baby yet."

I walked into Lowes with the kids and an employee just inside the entrance asked skeptically "are all of you here without your parents?" I told her I was the mom and she apologized and we laughed, then Dawson informed her that "my Mom gets that question a lot because she looks like a midget." Thanks son.

Charlie announced this the other day: "I think I wanna play the sport where you wear tight underwear and punch people in the face REALLY hard and send them to the hoppital {hospital}." Precious.

We gave someone in the snack aisle their laugh for the day when Charlie loudly and excitedly asked "can you buy some dried beaver meat Mommy?!" when he saw the beef jerky. They typically refer to this as beef-turkey, which is funny enough. Beaver meat is a new one.

Todd was watching a dinosaur show with the boys and Mitchy came upstairs, disturbed. He said "that dinosaur show should be rated B for bloody." Smart boy.

Dawson, referring to Mobius, {our children's museum} asked, "Mom, when can we go to that place at the mall that's like a kid heaven?"

We've been trying to help Mitch break his thumb-sucking habit, which goes hand and hand with belly button rubbing. Probably a lost cause since Dawson still sucks his thumb at 7. Anyway, he came to this conclusion after wearing bandaids on his thumbs all day: "sucking your thumb is a problem, rubbing your belly button is NOT."

Dawson was looking at a kids anatomy book and asked "why do babies have to wear seat belts in their Mom's tummy?" I looked at the picture and realized he was referring to the umbilical cord. I guess an in-utero seat belt isn't a bad idea. Buckle up, it's a bumpy ride! Especially if you're a twin and your Mom goes on Thunder Mountain and the Matterhorn at Disneyland while she's pregnant. That's totally hypothetical, who would do that?

Mitch told all of us "bees can hurt you, but you need not fear aphids."

When I was dishing up ice cream sundaes after dinner, Charlie offered to go last, which I thought was sweet and thoughtful. But he didn't follow through and wound up nabbing the first one I served. When I reminded him that he offered to go last, he said "oh that was just a figure of speech."

Dawson is a complainer. He has been working on his negative attitude {me too!} and when the kids asked if we could get an ice cream cone, Todd said that we just went out for pizza so that was our special treat and to be grateful for that. Dawson started reciting this mantra to himself in the backseat of the car "focus on the donut, not the hole, focus on the donut, not the hole."

The kids were having trouble lifting something and Mitchy said "let's get Charlie to help us, he's strong!" Dawson retorted "I'm sorry but being chubby is not the same as having muscles."

On another occasion, Dawson offered to get his treat last, and when he took the first serving, I questioned him about it. He reminded me that "in the Bible, the last will really be first."

Mitch has been a little mixed up and has been referring to his testicles as "tentacles."

Charlie: "Mommy, why do you wear your ring all night long? Is it so you don't forget you're marriaged during the night?" I guess that's probably the worst time of day to forget you're "marriaged" ;)

I buy an organic cereal called Gorilla Munch that Mitchy has re-named "monkey bumps." Not sure I feel hungry for cereal anymore.

Charlie hauled off and smacked Mitch in the car and I told him that even if he's frustrated with Mitch, that's no excuse to not use self-control and hit someone. He replied matter of factly "I'm not frustrated with him, he just annoys me, so I hit 'em."