I'm feeling kinda blue today. I probably should start a journal or something so I don't have to subject you poor people to my whining... The week is off to a rough start and I just get so down on myself when I feel like I can't meet everyone's needs. All 3 of the boys are extra clingy, and there just isn't enough of me to go around. I decided to empty and re-beautify my pantry yesterday, bad idea. They just needed me too much to accomplish much of anything. I managed to get chicken enchiladas on the table for dinner, shower, and do 2 loads of laundry, that's about it. And it was a miracle I got that much done. Needless to say my pantry looked
worse by the end of the day since I never had a chance to finish my project. I had to literally lay on the floor most of the day so everyone had equal access to Mommy. It was like 3 pigs fighting over a donut. And honestly, I love being needed, but this was more of a scream-fest that lasted 10 hours, not the cute version of needy. I would hold one of the boys in my arms and let the other ones crawl on me, lay on my legs, climb on my back, pull my hair, suck on my face, sit on my knees, poke my eyes...but whoever wasn't being held was whining and acting out (Dawson) or screaming (Mitch and Charlie). Seriously,
screaming. I tried to rub their hair, their back, do anything I could to make them feel loved when they weren't in my arms, but it just wasn't enough. The babies have been crying all the way to Ella's school, and all the way back. Sigh... These are the weeks I wonder if I really can do this by myself. You know, in a lot of ways, this stage is even harder than when they were newborns. 1 year olds that are walking, naughty tots are a whole new world of busy. Little babies can sit in a swing while you unload the dishwasher, lay in the bassinet or bouncy seat in the bathroom while you shower. They
sleep in the car (imagine that), and if they're fussy, well you just snuggle them against your chest in the Bjorn or take them for a walk in the stroller. And another beautiful thing about newborns is that people
expect that you may not have it all together. That maybe you'll have to have soup and grilled cheese for dinner, or pizza or take-out. Or that you didn't get to Target and Costco and get the weeds pulled, and the cookies baked for school and to church on Sunday, and the kids' hair cuts done. But then, very quickly, comes the "get it together!" stage. My friend has a blog, and she had an excerpt from a parenting book that had some great insight and advice. One part was an answer to a question from a mother of 4. The author's answer, and the part that I'm sure everyone else just skimmed over and never really paid attention to, hit me like a ton of bricks. "In the nuclear family, 4 children, if close in age, can be more than one person can be responsible for day after day. If this is the case, I suggest you get support and help." It kinda took my breath away, that feeling that maybe I can't do a good job of this on my own.
Thinking it some days is one thing, but hearing it out loud made it seem true! But in some ways I think that feeling is exactly what I need to remind me that I really can't do it. I have to rely on the Lord for strength, patience, peace, wisdom and sanity! Motherhood is such a privelege, but I think we overlook how challenging it can be, or we feel guilty admitting that some days it's really hard. After all, we're not just running a household and taking care of physical and emotional needs, we're raising hearts and souls that will be going out into the world one day. Doing an OK job isn't an option. And when I'm feeling overwhelmed and wondering how I'm going to get up tomorrow and do it all over again, I remember "don't worry about tomorrow, tomorrow will worry about itself. Today has enough trouble of it's own" Mt 6: 34. Boy, isn't that the truth.
By the way, the pictures have absolutely nothing to do with this, I just think they're cute. You know me and new jammies. Plus, looking at cute pictures of my kids reminds me how much I like them, even when they're a hot mess.
Hey, this is the day I was sick, why isn't she giving me the piggy-back ride?
I thought this was a picture of us with all of our kids, but on closer examination, that kid on the right isn't ours. Whoops, Dawson must be around there somewhere...
Mitchy looks exhausted! You know you've been hitting Disneyland hard when the babies have bags under their eyes
Charlie sucking on someone's face, again...
The Mitch & Mitch picture - a classic
2 Princesses, or is it princessi when there's more than one?
The all-girl's tour of Splash Mountain, Mom, Diane, me and Ella
Grizzly River Run!
No wonder Mitchy looks concerned, I'm asleep while holding him on this ride
Mitchy double-pointing again
One of the water slides at our hotel pool
Yahoo for the Jungle Cruise!
My cute parents:)
