Dear Jesus...

Ella has a rotating schedule written up of whose turn it is to pray at dinner {she thinks she's the boss of the universe}. So on this particular evening Dawson had the honors. I love children and their sweet, simple, innocent, honest prayers.
"Dear Jesus, thank you for this good dinner Mommy made and thank you that Daddy's not in Pittsburg. Thank you that Mommy made me a special quilt like Ella's. Keep us all healfee (healthy) and help Charwee not to scream and whine all the time. Jesus name, amen"

The babies have been folding their hands when we pray and I just can't stand how stinking cute they are. I really do want to bite their little cheeks.

I was at a meeting and they read a quote from a book that I loved. So many times when I pray I'm really just bringing a laundry list of things I want to God, with a quick "oh and by the way, thank you for..." This reminded me that I need to do less talking and more listening.

"We don't pray so God can hear from us,

we pray so we can hear from Him."

Feeling Blue

I just washed Mitchy's blankie that I made for him, I didn't know there was something dark blue in the washer and it dyed all the beautiful, fluffy white fabric blue.
I am so tired of this cold and rain. I am way over it. I'm sick of it, do you hear me?!
I cleaned one bathroom and have 2 to go.
I'm supposed to make a roasted chicken for dinner and I don't want to make anything. I just want someone to deliver me fries and a chocolate shake while I sit on my booty.
Ella is almost done with 1st grade, which means she still growing, darnit.
Charlie's been whining all day about treats and Mitchy has been whining all day about who knows what. And I could just pull my hair out because that sounds funner than listening to them cry and whine one.more.time.
The Father's Day gift for Todd that I've been working on for months is turning into a big, fat pain.
Our house is for sale and nothing is happening. I mean nothing.
The twins poured orange juice all over Bailey so now she's all crunchy and sticky. After giving 4 kids a bath the last thing I want to do is give the dog a bath too.
And now I'm more blue after writing this for feeling blue about the dumbest things. I'm such a baby!

Every Day is Mother's Day

When I was a kid, I remember asking my Mom why there's Mother's Day and Father's Day, but no Kid's Day. She said "well that's because every day is kid's day!" So true:) But honestly, I'd say every day is Mother's Day. I am so grateful for my kids, so glad I get to spend every day with them and that I don't have to miss a single thing. It's not always sunshine and roses and sugar plums, but it really is the good life. My heart has never been as full as it is because of these precious people I get to call mine.
I had a great Mother's Day, and it started on Friday because Ella was so excited to show me what she'd made at school that she couldn't stand herself. So she went up to my room for a bit, then called me up when she was ready...The door was shut and she was holding a sign that said "Hooray for Mother's Day! You are the heerow (hero)!" Now I was supposed to close my eyes, so she led me over by my nightstand and said "okay, open your eyes!" At this exact moment she threw a fistful of homemade confetti at me, which was so hilarious.Then she showed me all of her crafty treasures ~  a petunia in a pot that she'd painted, and a decoupaged jar of "flowers" made out of egg cartons, and a card. This is what it said:
"Mom, you are loving, you hug me sometimes and kiss me too. Mom, you are caring, when I get hurt you help me. Mom, you are funny. You  make weird faces and dance kinda funny. Mom, you are nice. You always snuggle with me at night. Mom, you are thankful, when I make you a picture you say "Ella, thank you so much." Mom, you are honest, you always tell me the truth." And one of my favorite things was one of the coupons she made me. The pre-written page was "Give one _______, get 3 free! and she filled in the blank with "dance" which was so incredibly cute, and so Ella. What a great deal, I only have to dance once and I get 3 back, for free!
So on Sunday, after sleeping in until 7:40 which was pure bliss, I was greeted with another stack of homemade cards. Dawson made me one of a very hairy spider, and Ella left some on my bedside table again. And by the way, Ella and Dawson collected wild flower blossoms and sprinkled them all over my room and nightstand, which was so precious. One card is in the picture above, the other said: "Happy Mother's day, you are the sweetest one I've ever seened." (clearly she doesn't know what she's talking about). So I continued with the lazy day theme and hung out in my robe until I quickly packed us a picnic lunch and reluctantly got dressed after NOT showering {because I was that lazy}. And we were off to my favorite breakfast spot, Chap's. I got to see  some of my most favorite people ever, and had a very cheerful and chaotic breakfast, which we followed up with a trip to the park. The kids had a blast playing together, the big people chatted and chased little people. The pictures I got of the kids are beyond adorable. I love the expressions and body language in each of the pictures, they love each other so much! The rest of the day was spent relaxing and playing in the yard with my sweet family. And yes, I did eventually shower:)

Official Gotcha Day!

7 years ago today, it was official, Ella was ours. We were lucky to have Ella from birth on, but on this day, her name changed, her birth certificate changed so that the "mother" line had my name on it, the "father" line with Todd's. It was a relief  knowing that there was no going back, we could rest easy now that she belonged to us for good. We had to go to Seattle for the proceeding, and it was such a fun trip. We ate out, roamed around Seattle, showed her off in all her cute, teeny outfits, Ella slept between us in the hotel bed, we visited her birth mother and siblings. We oohed and ahhed over her all weekend, our sWeEt little miracle. She fell asleep in Todd's arms while we sat for over an hour waiting for our proceeding to start, she was such a good girl. The judge was a sweetie and even wanted us to take his picture with Ella. He thought she was such a doll {he was right}, and he said the courtroom is rarely a happy place, so adoption finalizations were his favorite. Our lawyer gave Todd a pink bubblegum cigar, and gave me an "It's a Girl!" sucker, how cute is that?

Adoption is such a beautiful way to build a family, it really changes you in such intense ways. Bioligical children don't come with strings attached, you aren't really forced to be selfless, compassionate and trusting in quite the same ways. I always say that pregnancy may stretch your muscles and skin, but adoption stretches your heart in ways that sometimes hurt. Now that I've been through both experiences, I know how pregnancy is really all about Mom - the pregnancy symptoms, the growing baby bump, the delivery, post-baby meals from friends, offers from Dad to let you nap... Adoption is so the opposite of that! It is about worrying about everyone and everything else but Mom! We went through an adoption agency that allows the birth parents to choose the adoptive parents, which I loved. It gave me a lot of comfort knowing that her birthfamily would know about us and choose us. We had to make a photo album of us and our families, and Todd and I each had to write a letter just sharing our hearts about becoming parents through adoption. So after the  l  o  n  g   process of paper work and medical exams and reference letters and income verification and home study after home study, we were finally on the list! 8 weeks later to the day, Veronica chose us and we were asked to go to Tacoma as soon as we could to meet her in person. We got time off of work a few days later and met her for the first time. It was in September, and then we were able to be at the ultrasound in October that confirmed our premonition that we were about to have a baby girl. For the next few months, we prayed and worried, mostly over her health and fear that her birth mother would change her mind. At one point her birthfather did and I was a mess. I agonized and shed so many tears over the fact that this baby that was going to be mine, and really in my heart already was, wasn't with me, that I couldn't take care of her, or feel her kicks, or know if she was safe and protected. She was due on Christmas day, the gift of a lifetime. And Ella wound up being beyond what we ever hoped for or dreamed of. God bent and softened our hearts toward adoption and led us on a journey that ended with a baby girl wrapped in my arms, covered in my tears. What a precious gift she is, and really, what a precious gift it is to have been changed by the road that led us to her.

Bag of Tricks

Unfortunately, my demeanor is a far cry from that of Mary Poppins. But, I do have a bag that's similar, so that should count for something. Remember when she was in Jane and Michael's room and pulled a lamp out of her bag, {WOW!} and then more and more stuff just kept coming, and coming... Well my purse has become quite a bag of tricks over the years, getting bigger and bigger with each additional Ruffling. I used to carry just my wallet and chapstick, boy, those were the days.
I was at a party at my friend Erin's house, and her friend told me about a scrapbook layout she'd seen of a woman's purse emptied out, so you could see all of it's contents. So after a recent visit to the dermatologist with all of the boys, in which my ridiculously stocked purse saved the day, I thought I'd steal the idea.
So here's the set-up: Like I said, we were at the dermatologist's office because I had hives all over my hands and arms, don't worry, I'm not contagious. I just get this sometimes when Todd is out of town, apparently some stress reaction. I guess I'm allergic to being a single Mommy. So after days of scritchity-scratching, I was tired of waiting for it to clear up on it's own. So off we went. Now the problem was that the twins had been to the pediatrician's the week before and had SHOTS, so as soon as we walked into the doctor's office, the smell of stainless steel and gauze had them screaming and clammering for the door. Literally, they were screaming by the time we sat down in the waiting room. Oh joy, this should be fun... So they were in the double stroller and Dawson was tagging along behind. I'd packed his little metal Toy Story lunchbox full of snacks to keep them (and myself) happy. We burned through every item while still in the waiting room, a bad sign. And then it happened again, more screaming. So I tried to play a little game by pushing the stroller away from me, then pulling it towards me fast and saying "boo!" or whatever the heck I could think of to make them laugh. It worked a few times, then I somehow managed to pinch poor Charlie's finger in part of the stroller tray and the cryng screaming began yet again. So by now we've waited 30 minutes and are finally getting called into a room. Thank you Lord. Little did I know we'd be there another HOUR or I would've asked for a sample of Xanax. I have thee worst luck with long waits when I'm with my kids. Lord have mercy. So this is where my purse comes in handy. Man oh man did I empty that thing. I used every fruit leather, every granola bar, 2 pieces of gum for Dawson, bandaids for fake owies, rub-on tattoos, suckers and fruit snacks. They brushed their hair with my comb, looked in my mirror, went through my brag book/photo album, washed their faces with wipes, sanitized their hands 18 times. I gave them coupons for ripping, my pen and paper for drawing, the whistle on my keys, chapstick, Advil (for me. Oh and I found an old Zofran from the twin pregnancy vomit-fest), stickers, I even let them tear open tampons for crying out loud. Then they were bored of all of that, so I used about half a dozen latex gloves to make balloons, we used tongue depressors, q-tips, about a jillion wet paper towels to clean up the stroller after it was assaulted by two 1 year olds with suckers. Ay carumba. I finally peeked my head out and told the nurse we were going to have to leave if someone didn't see me, like yesterday. So finally the nurse practitioner came in, which really didn't matter because I couldn't hear her above the horrifying screeches, and she couldn't hear me either. I think she understood my primal grunting, scratching and pointing, because she looked at my hands and arms with that magnifying, light-up mirror thingy (which is by the way a woman's worst enemy) and wrote me some prescriptions. Another day that aged me 7 years. I think by now I'm 10 years older than Todd, not the other way around.
So here's what's inside that magical bag. And by the way, I am type-A so all of these things have a home in a bunch of teeny pouches to keep it organized, but I dumped everything out for full effect.

And this is a light load, depending on where we are and what we're doing I may have a water bottle, some dipes, my camera, some crackers, my sunglasses....I'm just one step up from a camel.

Unplanned

This really touched my heart, what a beautiful story ~ it made me cry...

If the producers of Hallmark Hall of Fame were looking for a thoughtful script that both inspires and convicts, they needn’t look any further than the story of Abby Johnson.

But for now, you can watch her tale of conversion this coming Tuesday May 17^th, by clicking here.

After years of working for Planned Parenthood in Bryan, Texas, Abby experienced a dramatic change of heart regarding the morality of abortion and her participation in the ongoing tragedy of it.

She had never seen an abortion through ultrasound technology.  But one day, she did, and the sight of a 13-week-old baby trying to move away from a probe shocked her.

Shaken by the experience, Abby abruptly resigned from her position as Director of the Planned Parenthood clinic.

"I just thought, 'What am I doing?'" she said. "And then I thought, 'Never again.'

Abby’s decision was met with scorn and suspicion from abortion activists, with some even accusing her of a “cover-up” to conceal the real reason behind her resignation and orchestrating a campaign of half-truths to embarrass her former employer.

Nobody, however, has ever questioned her haunting description of a baby’s reaction when he or she is about to be aborted.

What is so heartening about the Abby Johnson story is that it represents and illustrates the redemptive nature of Jesus Christ, who considers no sin unforgivable.  It’s sometimes easy to forget that Planned Parenthood, which is behind the senseless and heartbreaking deaths of millions of innocent babies, is staffed by real people, people whom God loves and cares about – just as much as He loves and cares about you and me. Many of these people even think they’re helping women.

As such, please join me in praying that more Planned Parenthood workers will, like Abby, come forward and publicly resign from their positions. We will continue to utilize every legal means at our disposal to help overturn Roe vs. Wade, as we continue to work to change hearts and minds about abortion. At the same time, can you imagine the magnitude of the practical impact should more Planned Parenthood employees turn from supporting death to promoting life?

Please consider joining us this coming Tuesday evening on our special webcast at 8PM, local time. For more information, please click here.

When I was your age...

Don't know about you, but when I was a kid we had to walk to school,  we didn't have cable TV, or a Wii, or free refills on pop. I'd never heard of a cell phone, and we definitely didn't Skype out of town relatives!

The kids love to Skype Nana and Papa because they can see them and hear them. So much cooler than chatting on the phone!

Daddy Daughter Hoe Down

Todd was out of town last year for the Daddy Daughter date night at school, so they were both so excited about it this year. The theme was perfect for Todd, it was a western night, right up his alley. I love the way little girls love their Daddys, it is so precious and such a special bond. I only snapped a couple of pictures before they left, and since it was such a rush to get them out the door after Todd had just made it home from work, I forgot to send the camera! Noooo!!! Todd said Ella was such a social butterfly and that everyone was doting on her. The highlight of the evening was line dancing, which Ella absolutely loved and talked about for days {apparently some of the other Dads were teasing Todd since it was obvious this wasn't his 1st time swinging someone around on the dance floor}. But the first thing she said when she came busting through the door was "I lassoed Daddy on the first try!" I didn't know what she was talking about until Todd told me that one of the activities was for the Daddys to kneel on the floor, and their little girl had to lasso them with a rope ~ sort of the way a daughter captures their heart for good. Todd said Ella swung the rope around and around a few times and roped him on the first try. That's my girl, a little farm chick at heart. I actually got a lump in my throat looking at her sweet expression while he told me about it. I would've given a hundred bucks to be a fly on the wall so I could've seen that.

Mother is one to whom you hurry when you are troubled. ~Emily Dickinson

HaPpY Mother's Day Mom! I love you and thank God for the blessing of a Mom who is also a confidante and friend. I know you are always there for me, your love is unconditional, and you will always speak the truth to me.  When I became a Mom, I began to understand how deep the love is that you have for me, the patience you must have needed, the sacrifices you made, the sleep you lost, the tears you wiped away, the heartaches and shin scrapes you tended to and prayed over. And if I thought I had it great to have you as a Mom, I think my kids are even luckier to have you as a Nana ~ you shine as a Grandma, or should I say GLAMa;) xoxo

Jesus paid it All, All to Him I Owe...

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand
In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless Babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save
Til on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live
There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ
No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From a life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Could ever pluck me from His hand
Til He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I stand
I will stand, I will stand
All other ground is sinking sand
All other ground, all other ground
Is sinking sand, is sinking sand
So I stand

We had a very laid back Easter, which was really nice. We were trying to get the house ready to put on the market, so Saturday we did a lot of yard work and organizing, but still had a great time playing in the sunshine with the kids, coloring eggs, going out for pizza, going through our ressurection eggs, and then off to church on Sunday. Our pagers went off during the 2nd song alerting us that the nursery workers were yet again tired of listening to our twins cry. Poor babies, I have a knack for raising very clingy, very dependent children. Not good. So we kind of chuckled, we'd hoped but not expected to make it to the actual sermon. Maybe an Easter miracle? Not this year, or the one before, or the one before...So we headed to the parent's room with all 3 boys (Dawson was already with us, he was crying too), it was packed, and hotter than Hades, and then the sound cut out. Perfect. So we had to get Ella out of class, which I always feel so bad about. She loves and needs church just like the rest of us, but her pesky little brothers always cramp her style. I guess we'll wait for yet another sermon to download so we can listen to it online, sigh. So we went home for a picnic in the yard ~ egg salad sammys, chips, pickles, pop and our Easter egg hunt. Mitchy was so cute, when he found an egg, he'd dump all his out to put with the new one. Then he went off into the woods and just filled his bucket with rocks that he found. So precious. We talked with the kids about the eggs symbolize the new life we can have in Jesus. And they are filled with sweet things, just like our lives can be when we give our hearts to Him. The kids have been ansy to light up the fire pit, so we planned all week for a hot dog roast. I made potato salad and baked beans, then we had s'mores, because who makes a fire and doesn't roast marshmallows? I didn't take a bunch of pictures of the day, I really wanted to enjoy the day with both eyes, instead of just one behind my camera;)