A stinky situation

I was at the grocery store with the kiddos and was kindly waiting my turn to grab bagels because a gentleman, who was also interested in bagels, was in my way. I'm not sure if this guy took his Benefiber that morning and things were moving through, or if his jeans were too tight, but when he bent down to grab his bagels he not only shared his butt crack with me, {Lord have mercy} but he also shared a very audible toot. His head whipped around and his eyes darted back and forth, checking to see if his escaped gas had indeed been as loud as he thought, which it was. I tried to pretend I didn't notice, I didn't want to embarrass the poor guy even more. So as he attempted to inconspicuously scurry away, Ella loudly says "Mooom!" in an accusatory tone as if I were the one who just passed wind in the bread aisle. In my best whisper-yell {I think all Moms know how to do this ~ you're whispering but in a yelling sort of way} "Ella, it wasn't me, I promise!" "Suure" she says. At this point I can't help it and I start laughing hysterically, which just eggs Ella on, insisting it was me. I finally give her the serious look because she keeps saying "suuure" over and over and drawing far too much attention to our freak show of a family. Finally she stops accusing me of farting in Rosauer's and I think I may get out of the store with a shred of dignity until she announces this loudly: "Everybody, actually it wasn't my Mom, because her toots stink!" Clearly their college fund will be spent on my therapy sessions.

This is how Ella walked around the other morning because she was mad at me and said she didn't want to look at me. Too bad she taped her eyes shut instead of her sassy little mouth;)

I noticed something looked a little strange and realized Ella had stuffed her shirt with toilet paper to make little boobies. She didn't want me to take her picture but I couldn't resist. I'm surprised she didn't tape her eyes shut again to teach me a lesson.

I'm sure this will be a familiar sight in the teenage years ~ Ella on an iPhone with rollers in her hair.