if you think my hands are full you should see my heart: (inappropriate) quote of the day

Ella-isms

We walked by a tricked out Jeep Wrangler in the parking lot and I told Ella "you would look cute driving that car someday!" She said "eh, it's not my favorite." I asked her what she wants to drive and she said, "I'm thinking a limousine?" I can see it now, all her high school buddies in a limo with her. Not gonna happen
"Mom, can we please say crap just on special occasions?"
Ella told me "I read somewhere that every minute a child is born. Around here, every minute a child needs their butt wiped." Pretty accurate.
Last week we finally had some sunny weather and Ella went for a ride on her scooter and said to me "Mom, when I was out there riding in the sunshine I felt so alive!"
As we were pulling out of the church parking lot, Ella told us that there was a girl at Sunday school that she really wanted to be friends with. She said "I would just ASK her to be my friend, but only weirdos do that."
Ella was explaining to me that she saw a spider in the sink and was spraying water on it to get it to go down the drain {insert a very dramatic depiction of a spider clinging on to the side of a sink for dear life}. Then she said sadly, "but watching the spider trying to hang on for it's life put a little crack in my heart."
Ella was up climbing in one of the old apple trees out back and called out to me "Mom, can I borrow the chainsaw for a sec?" Um, no.
I hated history in school but really love it now. Ella is the same way and I've been trying to inspire her to find some interest in history by reading Little House books etc. She reads them but isn't really IN to them. So I borrowed Kaya, it's part of the American Girl Doll series, hoping that would do the trick. I asked her how she liked it and she said "it's okay, but what I really want is more violent books."
The kids were playing Pocahontas and I heard Ella tell this to Dawson with dramatic flair "I must start my Indian life again, the culture is calling me, I must go..."
Ella was waiting for the boys to come outside and play make believe with her and yelled out to them "I'll just be a worker, sittin' outside waitin' for ya, smokin' on my smoker."
"Taking turns is a child's worst nightmare."
Ella has been learning about stars, constellations, galaxies, black holes....So on the way home she said "it's weird that the Earth is spinning, makes sense though cuz I've been dizzy ALL day."
Ella stuck up her RING finger and told me wide-eyed "at school someone told me when you put this finger up by itself it means ALL the bad words smooshed together."
I picked Ella up from school and as soon as she got in the car, she burst into tears. I was so worried and surprised and asked "what's wrong Sweetie?!" Assuming she'd gotten in trouble, I was relieved to hear her say "they passed out flyers for joining the wrestling team JUST to the boys!! I want to do wrestling!" Oh Ella, I can just imagine you out there tackling the sweaty boys on a stinky mat, you make me smile.
My Mom was up visiting and Ella asked "Ninny, you were around when George Washington was president, right?"
The kids were talking about what they want to be when they grow up. I asked Ella what she thought God had planned for her to do and she said "Be a teacher. I plan to be the boss of everything."
Todd was lounging on the couch with Ella, on some online chat session about an order. The customer support person's name came up in the box, his name was Jesus and Ella freaked out and said "oh my gosh Dad, you're chatting with JESUS on the computer?!" Todd typed Ella's reaction into the chat session and "Hay-Suess" got a kick out of it:)
On the way to school Ella said thoughtfully, "you know, it would actually be kinda good to be blind because when you're playing hide and seek or Head's Up 7 Up, your eyes would already be closed! Plus, everyone would know you didn't cheat cuz you can't!" I guess it's good to look at life with a glass-is-half-full perspective, although I imagine not many blind people have thought of this as a "plus" to being blind.
We went up to the Bluff with friends, and ran into a very cranky old man. Ella was curious why he was so crabby and came to this conclusion "maybe he's like a wasp. You know how they get really cranky and mean right when they're about to die..." Good analogy;)
When Ella was getting her hair cut, the stylist told her to sit back and relax while she washed her hair. Ella said "I'm just going to close my eyes and watch the show in my head."
"Ella, can you take out the trash please?" This was her response: "princesses DON'T DO CHORES!"
Ella was peppering me with questions about politics and I tried my best to describe democracy to an 8 year old. She thought about what I'd said for a bit and asked "can you just write a letter to everyone and tell them how good I've been so they can make me president?" Now that is one country I would not want citizenship in!
We pulled up to a stop light and looked back to see Ella scowling, giving the "I'm watching you..." sign {putting 2 fingers up to her eyes and then pointing them back at him} to a guy on a Harley Davidson stopped next to us. Luckily he had a sense of humor and laughed and she busted up laughing too. She is a piece of work.
In Ella's world, most everything unfortunate is my fault. I don't know if this is a common mother-daughter dynamic or just an Ella-Laura dynamic. Anyway, as usual I had picked Ella's school clothes out the night before, she doesn't care at all about what she wears. But when I picked her up that afternoon I got an earful about the outfit I'd chosen. "It's so hot today and you dressed me in black! Don't you know black absorbs heat?! I'm so hot I wish I could just die and get it over with."
Ella is such a great eater and isn't picky at all, but she doesn't like asparagus. So when she saw that I was roasting some for a side dish she said "oh no, not despair-a-gus!"
I was telling the kids that it's hard being a Mom to kids who are ungrateful and whiny and she said "well, the truth hurts doesn't it."
Dawson was using potty talk and Ella reprimanded him saying "Dawson, I don't think the Big G likes that." Big G = God's new nick name according to Ella.
When I picked Ella up from school she said "I like that you are always smiling when you pick me up, the other Moms don't seem happy to see their children." Of course I know that isn't true, all the other Moms are happy to see their kids too! I thought it was sweet though, I rarely get compliments from Ella ~ it's not often she thinks I'm doing things right;)
I think I'm just about as sentimental as they come, but even I can't save EVERY paper that comes home from school. I usually don't save worksheets or dittos, so when Ella saw a pile of math and other work sheets in the trash she threw her hands up in the air and said dramatically "I wonder what it would be like to be in a family that doesn't throw away all your work!"
Mitchy loves Ella, always has, but the other night when he snuggled in her arms, Ella just melted. I could see her eyes get misty, and I was kind of shocked! I bent down and whispered "are those happy tears?" she nodded and said "now I know how it feels to be a Mom, they are so precious."
Ella overheard my Mom telling me a story about a guy that was rude to her. Later, referring to "that guy" she said "that's so mean, I have a feeling he's going straight to hell, I can see it now...." Maybe Ella's middle name shouldn't be Grace;)
Ella told me that she had a dream that she went to school naked. She said "I had to go and talk to Mr. Meyer because we can't be naked at school, it's a Christian school not a public school." I cleared up the confusion and let her know that public schools don't allow the kids to show up nude either.
"You know what the best part of heaven will be? That you can't boss me and Dawson around."
We were just arriving at a birthday party and Ella said "I sure hope no one dies at this thing...."
Ella can be very dramatic {gasp! I know you're shocked!} and one thing that usually gets her going is getting her hair brushed. So as usual, she was starting to over-react big time when I was doing her hair, and when I accidentally pulled a tangle she threw her hands up in the air and cried out with tears in her eyes "this must be what death feels like!"
I was doing Ella's hair and she said "I don't think I'm very pretty." I was so surprised and asked her to tell me what was making her feel that way, and told her how beautiful her heart and little face are. She almost started crying and said "but I have holes on the side of my face! No one else does." If only she knew how precious those dimples are! I promised her that one day she'd understand the power of those dimples!
We took the kids out to dinner a couple of weekends ago, Ella had spaghetti and as we were getting ready to pay, she asked us "can I tell the waitress that my dinner was good, but they need to work on the sauce?" I told her when she's old enough to work and actually pay for her meal, then she's welcome to criticize the food:)
We were at a stop sign and I saw Ella in my rear view mirror smiling at what appeared to be the guy in the car next to us. "That's sweet" I thought to myself. As we continued to wait I looked back again and saw that she was still staring and smiling, sort of a cheesy grin at this point. I told her that it's nice to smile but try not to stare {to be honest, I was more worried it was some freakazoid smiling at my daughter so I was trying to keep her from encouraging him}. And Ella said "I'm just doing what the sign said 'even a smile helps.' And sure enough, I look over to see a pan handler on the sidewalk holding a sign that says "Hungry, anything helps, even a smile helps." I love how innocent children are and how she didn't see him as dirty or gross or weird or lazy, but thought if a smile would help, why not!
Ella started crying and carrying on when she found out I was going into town the other night, and started begging me to take her. I told her I would but I was going to the crisis pregnancy center. I've explained Life Services to her before so when Dawson asked where I was going (after another round of crying) she told him "Mom has to go help the pregnant ladies decide if they want to keep their babies or donate them."
The babies were stripped down to their nakedness outside because they were about to get in the tub. Ella said this in her most regal English accent: "there are no naked people allowed in my kingdom. Get them dressed this instant!"
"I hope I have cute polka dots all over my skin like Aunt Diane when I grow up." Polka dots = freckles:)
Ella and I took a bike ride, and at one of the houses we passed there was a guy outside with his kids, and their garage door was open. Ella of course said hi, and then yelled this as we rode by "you guys really need to have a yard sale, you sure have a lot of junk!" Let's just say we haven't taken a bike ride in that direction since.
Mitchy was very happy to get a BIG piece of grilled cheese rather than cut up pieces, so when he squealed happily Ella said, "you know Mitchy, you should give praise to the Lord."
Dawson and Ella were bugging each other all night, so when bath time rolled around she said "I want to take a bath by myself, I'm not successful around Dawson."
I was pushing the kids on the swing and Dawson said he wished he were an Indian so he could shoot arrows. I told him that he actually is part Indian, how cool is that?! So Ella wanted to know about her heritage. I told her that she's half Russian, and then a mixture of German and some other stuff. Later that day she told her cousin Rachel "did you know I'm Japanese and German? Mom isn't anything though, she's just plain old Mom." She's definitely not Japanese and I'm definitely not old;)
Ella was trying to put her tennis shoes on and kept grunting and carrying on. She said "I'm working so hard I feel like I'm pushing out a baby!"
On Friday or Saturday night, Ella stays up late with me for girl time. We usually watch a show about wedding dresses and eat snacks. She's sitting next to me right now, but I had to write this down really quick. "Mom, did you know I already found true love?" "Oh yeah, who?!" "Olivia." How precious is that.
Ella is pretty well known around her little school, and it used to surprise me when older kids, other teachers or random adults would know her name and say hi. I'm pretty used to it now but when she said "hey Michelle...." and continued to talk to some older girl in the hall, I asked her what she was talking about and she said, "oh nothing Mom, I'm just takin' care of some business."
Ella and Dawson were playing restaurant in his room while I was bathing the babies. And when the twins got out of the tub, they ran their nakey hineys right to the "restaurant." Ella stopped them and said very professionally "I'm sorry, but we don't accept naked customers."
I was telling the kids how ready I am for some Springy weather and Ella said "I know, I don't get it. That judge made an announcement that the porcupine said it'd be an early Spring."
"I like Mitchy's kisses way better than Charlie's, they're not so juicy."
Ella was reading a book to us about a lazy farmer that sleeps all the time and makes all of the animals do his chores. She said "we shouldn't stay in bed too long, God has special plans for us today."
Dawson was whining about eating his black bean burger for dinner, and I told him that there's things I don't love to eat, but I eat them because they're good for me. Ella said, "yeah, but there's some things Mom won't try, like cat meat..." This is true.
Dawson was heading up to bed but wanted an extra last minute kiss from Ella. So she kissed him and said sweetly, "sweet dreams Dawson, and just remember, God has a special plan for you sometime." Not sure why she said "sometime", maybe she can't clearly see that there's any sort of decent plan for him at the moment.
We have tried to be really faithful as a family to pray for baby Ella, and our Ella asks about her a lot. She's also been having her teacher and classmates pray for her at circle time. I told her the other day that baby Ella went home! So that day she came home from school and said "Mom, I told everyone at school about the Miracle Child."
Now that Ella is reading I realize just how many things don't actually mean what they say. We were driving and Ella saw a sign on a coffee stand and read "Big Shots... BIG SHOTS?! Mom, is that the place kids go when they need really big shots?!" No, that's where Mommy's go to get a caffeine buzz AFTER they take their kids to the pediatrician's for shots.
At dinner, Dawson said that his head hurt. So Ella got out of her chair, went over to him and said "here Dawson, let me try to heal you like Jesus." So she put her hand on his forehead, closed her eyes and stood there for a bit. Then she opened her eyes and asked him "do you feel better now?"
Ella had her school Christmas concert last week, and afterward on our way to the car she asked with a disappointed tone "did you even like my singing?" I was shocked she asked me that and said "of course! I loved it, you did great....!" She said "well then why didn't you even cry?!" Apparently my kids associate my crying with me being happy and proud, that's probably not a good thing.
Ella has been using what I call her "Mom voice" a lot lately. Her tone changes - soft and sugary, and she says sweet nothings like "you are just precious" or "you little beast, I could eat you!" She really is turning into a little Mama. So at dinner, Dawson complimented my cooking and I told him how sweet and encouraging he is. Ella put on her Mom voice and reached her hand across the table toward his and said " Dawson, I just love you, you are such a miracle."
Apparently Ella figured out what the pedals on the piano are for. The rule is: no pounding on the piano - so when I heard her playing especially loudly, I called downstairs "no pounding on the piano!" and she said "I'm not pounding, I'm just stepping on the gas pedal!"
Dawson asked Ella a strange question - "do they have treats on Mars?" Ella answered as if she were an expert in astronomy, "nope, they just have moons, shooter guns and raisins on Mars." Interesting...
Todd's parents asked for some ideas for birthday and Christmas presents for Ella, so when I asked her for some suggestions she said "I'd like a hunting Barbie." I don't want her to be disappointed when she opens gifts, but I don't think they make a hunting Barbie.
Ella was looking through her picture Bible and must have noticed that everyone was wearing sandals because she asked "why did everyone wear Crocs in the world back then?"
We were driving in to town and Ella told me and Todd "guess what? God just said something to my heart!" We were curious what He said so we asked and Ella told us this: "He said 'think of other people and don't have a bad attitude and'... wait-wait-wait, hang on, I hear another word coming in."
Ella said the sweetest thing to me the other day. "Thank you for this wonderful day, we have so much fun playing with you. I'm glad you're nobody else's Mom because you make me and Dawson the happiest children in the whole world."
We've had a ton of rain so far this summer, and Ella said "why do they call it Suncrest? All it does is rain here."
Ella saw a commercial and told me "Mom, you better not buy that cereal. It says it makes kids grow bigger and stronger and I know you want us to stay babies forever."
Ella asked if we can see Satan (interesting question...). I assumed she was asking if we can SEE him, like with our eyes. So I reminded her that he is like an angel, real but you can't see him. Dawson wanted in on the conversation when he heard that Satan was an angel since it understandably didn't jive with his idea of the devil. So we went through the whole thing - Satan was the angel of light but he wanted to BE God instead of serve Him, so God kicked him on out of heaven. She asked why we can't see him and I told her that he's invisible, and besides, he's evil so we wouldn't want to. Ella said "well, can't we just drive to where he lives but stay in the car? Then we can get a good look at him but we'll be safe."
Dawson sassed me and I said rhetorically "excuse me?!" Ella raised her hand, waving it in the air saying "ooh, ooh, I know what he said, I know what he said!" I told her that I heard him myself and she didn't need to tattle, she said "I'm just doin' my job."
Ella told me she had a bad dream that a crocodile was trying to eat her and Dawson, but she told the crocodile "wait, wait, do you know Jesus yet? And then he decided not to eat us and invited us to play in the ocean with him."
The kids were at the table eating lunch when we all heard Charlie cry as he was waking up from nap. Ella said "Mom, I think I hear one of your customers."
I went out with some friends the other night, and I never tell the kids on those rare occasions when I'm planning to get out because they fixate on it all day. So when they realized I was going to be leaving, Dawson started crying and Ella started whining and begging to come with me. I told them that Mommy is with them ALL the time and that they should enjoy spending time with Dad because he's going away on business and they'll get sick of me. Ella said "actually, we're already sick of ya." The love and appreciation is a tad underwhelming around here.
Ella recites her memory verse on Fridays, but if she knows it earlier she can say it. She came home from school on a Thursday all disappointed that she didn't know it. I told her not to worry, she had until tomorrow to get it down. Todd told me that she recited this to her teacher: "keep your tongue from licking strangers", the actual bible verse was "keep your tongue from speaking evil." That one cracked me up. Both are good to remember though.
Ella was outside playing and turned the radio on in the Hummer. She ran inside and said, totally serious, "you guys, there's bad news for the people of Washington, they're going the wrong way!" Not sure what news brief she heard but apparently all of us WA residents are headed in the wrong direction.
My purse ripped so I grabbed one at TJ Max. When Todd got a glimpse of it, he said "whoa, that's quite a purse" and not in the good way. He usually doesn't comment much on my clothes, hair, house decor etc, so when he does have an opinion, I try to make him happy. So when I went back and asked for a refund, the cashier asked "is there anything wrong with it?" and Ella said "what's wrong with it is that my Dad thinks it really ugly."
At the dinner table last night Ella said "I know we're supposed to think about God first, others second, then ourselves last. Well I was thinking about God in the basement, and I was thinking of others cuz I just helped Dawson clean up, so now it's time to start thinkin' about me."
Ella's class went on a field trip to the Veteran's Hospital and I think she got her American heroes mixed up because she said "some of the pilgrims we're gonna see don't have legs cuz they got blown up."
We watched the Grinch - a Christmas pre-requisite in this house, and Dawson has been slithering around all day on his tummy and talking funny, telling all of us he's Mr. Grinch. He even stole a few toys the babies were playing with and slithered away, blaming it on his alter ego the Grinch. Ella asked me, with a look of genuine thoughtfulness "what would you have named me if I'd been born with green fur like the Grinch? Is 'Weird' a name?"
Ella said "it's odd that Mitchy doesn't like his cereal and Charlie does, Charlie must be even."
I asked Ella to recite her memory verse before school "Do not crunch the Holy Spirit..." Crunch... quench, it's all the same when you're 5.
Ella had a candy bracelet and as she was eating it and it got wet, it started turning her wrist green. I said "Ella, you're going to have to take that bracelet off, it's dyeing your wrist." She said horrified "the bracelet killed my arm?!!"
Ella loves a song by Francesca Battistelli called "Free to be Me." She was belting it out the other day when something caught my attention, I asked her what she was singing and she said "you know, that song I love 'Free to be MEAN.'" Oops - glad we cleared that up, no wonder she liked that song so much....
Ella asked "what kind of bus is that Mom?" "Oh, that's a bus from a retirement home that takes people to run their errands and stuff." "What's a retirement home?" "A place where old people live." Then she asked "does Daddy ride that bus?"
Ella asked if Daddy was staying home tomorrow, I told her that he had to work one more day (Fri) then he'd be home. She said "he's going to stay home forever like Mr. John?!" (our neighbor) I said "no Honey, Mr. John is retired that's why he stays home everyday," she said "isn't Daddy tired too?"
We were getting settled in for bedtime stories when Ella said "Mom, I'm gonna have to get rid of you so I can marry Dad, he's the cutest thing I've ever seen."
Dawson was being a bit obstinate at lunch today and Ella said "See, this is why we need to sell Dawson."
When the kids are missing Todd I'll sometimes have them call him at work. The other day Ella asked him to come home early, so trying to appease her he said he can't unless he talks to his boss, she said "you mean you have to ask Mom first?" Atta girl, at least someone knows who's in charge around here:)
We were chiding Ella to eat her lunch when she announced "this is just too much pressure."
Poor Ella has been dealing with a terrible double ear infection and it's made it hard for her to hear. Today I was trying to ask her what she wanted for lunch and she said "Mom, I see your lips moving but I can't hear a word you say." It seems the roles have reversed...

These are a few of my favorite things. . .

South Perry Pizza's pulled pork special is so craveable. It's not always on the menu so I am a stinker and call because we don't go unless it's the special:) They do a good job with gluten free crust too.
Sweet Frostings Bakery has thee best cupcakes this side of home made. Hummingbirds and Lemon Blueberry are my favorites but they are ALL good {trust me}. Great, now my mouth is watering...
I adore cookbooks, sort of a strange fettish but I guess it could be worse;) They are definitely one of my favorite things.
My new favorite drink: Cascade Raspberry Lemon sparkling water with a bunch of ice and about 1/3 cup of unsweetened, pure pomegranate juice and a slice of fresh lime. Mmmm.
I've never had a "real" manicure but I like to paint my nails here and there, it cheers me up. But what Mom can sit still long enough to do a base coat, 2 coats of polish, top coat and then wait for them to dry?! I always wind up with nicks and it drives me nuts, or it peels off right away. But Sally Hansen's Salon Manicure is awesome, it is a one coat wonder and really works!
Oreos new Heads or Tails cookies, glass of milk, end of story.
Palmer's has a great coconut protein pack for hair. It's at Target for just over a buck and goes pretty far, I got about 10 uses out of it as conditioner. Anyway, the real reason I love it is because of the yummy coconut smell. I can pretend I'm on a tropical honeymoon, laying on the beach with a strawberry margarita... that is until someone yells "Mom, can you wipe my bottom!?!" and snaps me right back into reality.
The Waikiki pizza at Flying Goat is the best pizza in Spokane. I get it without coppa sometimes, but man, with a nice cold Coke, it's a slice of the good life for sure. OK, I hate to do this but I have to write a disclaimer now. They recently changed their crust, and the artisan ham that they got from Sante', so it's not as good, so sad. But give them a try, and while you're there tell them to bring back the old crust for pete's sake!
Bruttles ice cream at Scoop is heaven on a cone, delish.
Sleep. Sleep is one of my most favorite things. Zzzzzz
Finally, a show about labor and delivery! I miss House of Babies, but this will work. One Born Every Minute is my new favorite show. Todd came up from the basement and saw how tickled I was watching this show and he patted my leg and gave me "the look." You know the one that says "oh Honey, you have problems, you are crazy and you need help." If you don't know the look I'm talking about it's because you aren't crazy, congratulations.
My Mom got me hooked on Simply Carmel Milky Ways. A word of caution: these are bad news for your skinny jeans.
So it's old news that I adore Chap's, but...their new (kinda) bakery is absolutely heavenly. I would drag my mattress there and move in if I could, seriously.
I love my whipped cream maker thingy. I've had it for 8 years and it still works great. I use homemade whipped cream all the time, but when you whip it up yourself, it just doesn't last long in the fridge. With this fancy thing it lasts at least a week (not that is lasts that long around here). All you need are the refill cartridges, then just pour in the cream, powdered sugar and a splash of vanilla and it comes out perfect every time!
I'm a bit of a Mexican food freak and I LOVE De Leon's flour tortillas. My friend Kel got us hooked on these a couple of years ago, and when taco or enchilada night rolls around I better have these on hand or taco night is just plain cancelled.
I have to say that one of my MOST favorite things is seeing Todd walk in the door with a bag of groceries. Forget jewelry boxes, flowers, chocolates (well, maybe the chocolates) - get some essentials so I don't have to drag all the kids to the grocery store and you are a romatic in my book.
I think my label maker is pretty awesome. I know, completely nerdy, totally Type A, but I'm admitting it - I love making labels for stuff. Some of you may wonder - does the sprinkle drawer really need to say "sprinkles?" The answer is yes, yes it does thank you very much.
Magic Erasers are, well, magic. I love those things. My favorite cleaning time saver is to take one in the shower with me when it's time to clean the tile. I always wind up soaking wet anyway so this method gets me and the shower clean at the same time.
Have I mentioned that I love C.O. Bigelow's Lemon Hand Wash?!
The Sticky Cookie dessert at Twigs. I had this 3 times in a one month period and made myself sick. But I've since recreated it at home and it's just as good, if not better. Plus when I make it at home I can eat it in my comfies.

Places I'd Rather Be. . .

Lummi Island - tide pools, deep sea fishing, catching crabs which are later covered in melted butter, picking blackberries and making cobbler. This is also where Todd and I got a twinkle in our eyes for one another over 17 years ago.
Disneyland - It is, without a doubt, the happiest place on earth and I am one of the few people (D, Sis, Mom and Dawn too) that truly appreciates the MaGiC around every corner.
Mt. Ranier - literally every square inch is a minature wonderland of moss, waterfalls, wildflowers. It is a slice of heaven.
Cannon Beach, OR - more specifically, eating baked goods at Waves of Grain while in Cannon Beach, now that's livin'.
Snorkeling in Maui (when the sharks aren't hungry)
Camping in the mountains (in our super-secret spot)
Stream fishing in Colorado - 11 Mile is my favorite
If it's quiet and sunny, then it's a place I'd rather be

if you think my hands are full you should see my heart

5.04.2012

(inappropriate) quote of the day

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The Book Nook - Some of My Favorite Reads

Places I'd Rather Be. . .

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