Sleep is for Sissies!

I feel like a zombie today, after a morning of being terrorized by crabby boys, I finally got the evil duo twins down for nap and got myself showered, and am now spending time writing this meaningless post while Dawson is playing X Box, because I'm that kind of Mom today. My friend Kel and I were just talking yesterday about the sleepless nights that Mommyhood brings, little did I know I was in for it that night... Dawson isn't a napper, but probably twice a month will fall asleep in the car ~ we drive SO much that sometimes he dozes off either picking Ella up from school or running errands. Problem is if he does take a cat nap, he won't fall asleep that night until 10 pm. It's like clock work, 10 pm, no later no earlier. And it doesn't matter if he falls asleep for 5 minutes or an hour. So, unfortunately he took a power snooze yesterday and I knew I'd pay for it later that night. Sure enough, after we tucked the twins in, then I laid with Dawson, then Ella, then finally landed on the couch...he was peering down the banister at me saying he couldn't sleep. So I let him sit with me, but his chattering over his antcipation of warm chocolate chip cookies with Mom kept Ella from sleeping. So now she was also up and in the living room with me. 9:15 rolls around and I hog tie Ella to bed so she could get some sleep and have at least half-brain power for school. 10:00 pm finally comes and Dawson is getting tired, time to tuck him in for the 3rd time...I finally get some time to myself, ahhh... Todd had been working all night and was tired so we decided to head up to bed at about 10:40, and as I look up from washing my face I see 2 little people in my room, Ella and Dawson. Gosh I love these kids but they aren't quite as cute at close to 11 pm. Todd informs me that their sound machines were freaking out and broadcasting a horrible, screeching, aliens-are-trying-to-contact-us sound, which of course woke them up, after they'd been asleep all of maybe 45 minutes. Perfect. Poor Ella was white as a ghost and sweating little beads of perspiration around her forehead, it had really scared her. We finally convinced Ella to go back to bed by consoling her that we would leave the light on and that Daddy fixed the problem with the sound machine {cell phone interference?} so it is now emitting restful waterfall sounds again instead of extraterrestrial squeals. So Ella's back in bed and now we climb into bed, finally. Only problem is that Dawson is between us. Fine, I can handle this, he doesn't sleep like a tornado so at least we'll get some sleep. So I'm just about to doze off and I look up and see, by the dim light of the hallway nightlight, a person standing over me. By a shear act of God I don't scream or kick or punch, then I realize it's Ella, her white hair glowing above me like a creepy horror flick. "Ella Honey, you have to wake Mommy up or say something if you come into my room, you scared me so bad I almost knocked you off the bed!" "I'm sorry Mom, I'm just too scared to sleep!" "Okay, you can sleep with us..." This should be great with the 2 bigs between us in bed, so comfy right?!!! We finally conk out and 20 mintues later, Mitchy wakes up crying, awesome! So now we transport Ella and Dawson together to Dawson's bed {he has a queen size and Ella wasn't about to go downstairs and sleep by herself} to make room for Mitchy. Todd just about makes it out of the twins' room with his stealth removal of Mitch, then Charlie wakes up. Holy Alarm Clocks, it is so stinking late and we still haven't had a wink of sleep! I don't know how I did this night after night with the twins, no wonder I cherish my Saturday morning sleep-ins! At this point we've swapped 2 bigs for 2 littles in our bed and boy was it an interesting night. I can't even count how many nights we've had kids in our bed, but this was one of the most sleepless ones. I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone. Poor Charlie has the sniffles so he was mouth breathing all night and kept asking for milk and water, plus I couldn't sleep because after his croup episode, I'm so nervous that his cold will take a turn for the worse. And even though it was easy to check his breathing with him lying on top of me, I was still on edge after every little cough or raspy sound. One of the many times during the night that I dragged myself downstairs or to the bathroom, I thought about grabbing the camera ~ you should've seen us all sprawled out, what a hot mess. Mitchy wound up horizontal on the foot of the bed, his head resting on my legs, when I was actually in bed. Todd was snoring away, curled up in a fetal position trying desperately to retain his 3 inches of mattress space, Charlie was sharing my pillow and laying on his side, his arm around my neck and his sippy cups and tissues strewn all over the place. Finally, morning came, sweet relief! Even though we were exhausted, at least we were free from our co-sleeping prison and could start the process of healing from this traumatic night. I got up, put on some mascara and blush, threw my hair in a pony then went to the closet to pull on a sweater and jeans. As I was walking out of our room I felt a sting on my leg and shook my pant leg ~ one time I had a little ant in my pants {they didn't make that song up for no reason} that pinched me and it felt kinda like that. Within a few seconds I felt it again, then again! So I started ripping off my jeans in the hallway and felt it again! The twins were watching me, probably thinking "ok, we know our Mom is crazy, but this is a new low, even for her." I'm so glad they are young and won't judge me for my potty mouth because I yelled out "what the h-e-double L!" and as I flung my pants off, a huge black wasp flew out of my jeans. I got stung 4 times by that nasty beast! So I hobbled downstairs half naked sporting 4 bloody holes of acidic burning pain, then walked around the rest of the morning with baking soda paste dripping down my leg. By the time we were heading out the door to bring Ella to school I felt like it was 9 o'clock at night {and yes, I did put pants back on to take her to school}. I look like heck, especially since I already had a shiner from Charlie headbutting me the other day. Thank goodness for the Reticular Activating System, I have been on auto-pilot all day and somehow drove to town, home again, made breakfast, lunch, changed diapers, played puzzles, played a board game, vacuumed the house, emptied the dishwasher, did 2 loads of laundry...in a zombie-like trance of half conciousness. All I want to do is hit the sack, but I'm sort of scared to go back to the place of bad memories. I now have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and I'm not sure if I could handle another night like that for awhile. I'm too old for this monkey business.